Monday, 8 May 2017

My Baby Is Turning Two And I'm Feeling Blue...

I cannot believe that Hector turns two next week. TWO. Where did those two years go?

I can't help but think back to when Charlie turned two. This was quite a crucial few months really. We knew that we wanted to have another child and I would like ideally a three year age gap so within the next three-six months after he turned two I would have wanted to get pregnant.



It's weird but as my littlest gets older the realisation that I am not going to get pregnant again or indeed have another baby is starting to setting in and I will be honest it's left me feeling a little blue. I know that it's utterly ridiculous to feel like this but I just cannot help it.

Hector is getting so big now and he's becoming such a strong and independent little person that with every day he grows my littlest baby slips away into a blur of toddler and soon preschooler haze. He's started to climb out of his cot now and can negotiate the drop without hurt and I know that with Charlie that as soon as he started doing that the sides were whipped off and his cot was transformed to a cot bed but I am just not ready to do that with Hector. It's pathetic but I am clinging onto every single second of "baby time" that I can.  I am sure that I am not alone in my thoughts.

But the question I ask is how do I move on from these feelings and embrace the changing little boy that stands in front of me?

The feeling that I am not going to need that cot for much longer and that for every new stage of clothes he goes into the feeling that I am losing my baby (albeit gaining a very independent toddler) sinks a little deeper. The feeling that there will never be another newborn baby being added to our little family. The feeling that with each day that goes on his independence grows and his need to have me do things for him slips away. Do you know where I am coming from?

But, then I think about it and I force my self to snap out of the wallow of pathetic self pity that I occasionally find myself wallowing in and take a jolly good look at the bigger picture, and one half of that bigger picture is tugging at my jeans asking for a "cuggle".

I am bloody lucky. I have two incredibly healthy boys who's love and adoration for each other is deeper than Tom or I will ever know. Two boys who are both so very similar yet hold such strong different personalities but who's smiles never fail to brighten my day.

But now to my birthday boy. He is such a sweet little thing, sure he has his moments but who's kids don't? His gappy teethed smile and round moon face with his Dumb and Dumber hair cut melts my heart daily and I know that I am easier on him than I am with Charlie - I don't mean to be but I just am.

He is fiercely independent. He has never liked being fed, hates being told what to do and he never gives up trying. Like a true Taurus he shows his emotions through actions and loves a "cuggle" and loves to be the centre of attention always joking about and making us laugh.

He is an amazing sleeper - sleeping through from 5 weeks old and continuing to get his 12 hours straight per night. This has certainly made parenting second time around a hell of a lot easier. He is an easy child.

But two years old!! That has gone too quickly and I wish time would just slow down a bit. But, like my mum always says to my brother and I, "You might be growing up but you'll always be Mummy's baby...".



So, I shall not dwell any longer but I shall however look forward to the wonderful weekend of birthday celebrations that we have in store.

So, just how are we celebrating the little dudes birthday? Well, his lovely childminders Geraldine and Tony are throwing a party for us in the form of his favourite playgroup. He loves it there so seemed the perfect place for a party for twenty odd crazy toddlers followed by a bbq for our family and I can't wait! We've got him a Little Tikes climbing frame and also one of their super cute Dinosaur Crazy Coupes and he's also having a two tier Peppa Pig cake!

I will post a post party update after the big day.

But in the meantime Happy Birthday Hectie.

Love Mummy x


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